actually, I'm a sock model
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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