well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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