he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
