I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
