ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize