Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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