i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
