Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
