i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
should my penis look like a turkey
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
