Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
