maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
