Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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