Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
