we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
