we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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