I don't usually arrange sex via text message
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
