he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Found the puke drawer
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
