just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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