Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
