I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
