TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
