i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
