CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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