she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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