is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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