Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
