Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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