I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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