Ambien. No doubt about it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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