you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
