I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
