I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
