ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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