I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
