worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
