I seem to have left my pride at pride
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize