We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
