Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
