They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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