I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
