I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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