I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
