Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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