i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
