Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
