There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
