Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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