what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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