Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
