Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
