Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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