You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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