bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
