distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
