Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
