Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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