Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
