I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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