That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
