I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
