i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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