I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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